I hope I get it-I think I got it!

Woke up Saturday morning thinking I was having a heart attack, but didn't really sleep more than a couple of hours. 

I had a stressful day on Friday. I had to get a restraining order against a former friend. I won't go into the details, suffice to say I had to change my cell number and block a few numbers on my land line. Saturday night I get an unexpected visit by the local police over this matter and another one and they stayed in the apartment for some time discussing these matters with me at 11pm. 

Anyway this has been causing me all kind of anxiety, worrying foolish about things that will never happen, but in my mind's eye they are. I called the pdoc on Saturday and she wouldn't refill my Ativan, telling me I still had Seroquel left and that should do me for the anxiousness. 

She also told me to work it through, she believes in me. I have never had a doc tell me they believed in me before. That was a blessing. 

I took a couple and continued to pace. Went outside for a long walk, came home, and tried to think rationally. Wrote down my fears, realized what was triggering me, and then sought out a calm way to deal with it. Made a few phone calls to make the triggers go away, and curled up with the cat, watching an old Film Noir on TV. 

I feel better and realized something. 

1. I can make myself better by taking positive steps to find the triggers, isolate them and get on with it. 

2. By working on the triggers I made the anxiety go away and had a real good afternoon and evening. 

I feel better now, I am not powerless. I am empowered. I am human, hear me meow.