tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60606275390630619362024-03-13T11:36:41.491-04:00If You're Going Through Hell Keep GoingQUOS DEUS VULT PERDERE PRIUS DEMENTATsusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.comBlogger710125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-12192049581283291272014-04-27T11:08:00.000-04:002014-04-27T11:08:48.612-04:00AprilI'm here.
My life has gone to hell in a hand basket since Holly went to the Rainbow bridge on New Years Eve.
The only way I can explain how I feel, is to think of a page from Robert Graves' masterpiece "I Claudius, " when he talks about the dark depression he went through when his brother died and said "I won't talk about it"
The last two years have been trying, loosing the cat made me susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-75757575285067550452013-08-11T15:48:00.002-04:002013-08-11T15:48:42.475-04:00The Scarlet BMy name is not Hester Prynne. I don't think Ms. Prynne would be placing a scarlet B on her chest and placing gold threads through it if the following happened to her.
This true event happened to me in the end of June. I'm changing the names, like they do in "Dragnet" to protect the innocent, but also I simply forgot the names of the parades of doctors and nurses I saw.
Regular readers know I susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-61916702620049275842013-05-15T12:20:00.001-04:002013-05-15T14:52:30.967-04:00Paying It ForwardReaders of my blog know I've been M.I.A from January until the end of April, battling a crippling bout of depression that pretty much led me in bed unable to move. It was awful.
Everything went out the window. I stopped bathing. I stopped grooming. I stopped eating. My agoraphobia was off the chain, I left my apartment only to buy cat food and litter. I was sleeping up to 20 hours a day. I had susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-27814177795637881022013-04-30T20:12:00.000-04:002013-04-30T20:12:27.171-04:00I'm still hereI'm still here. I never thought I would be away for almost four months and I apologize.
I have a lot to write about, if I can find the words. Suffice it to say it was the worst depression I've ever had, though I've said that about most of the depressions I have had lately. This one started in August and continued to get worse and I did not want to burden Anyone by how bad it was getting.
Then susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-32847829473935278712013-04-30T19:42:00.000-04:002013-04-30T19:42:10.276-04:00Why We Love Cats (Infographic)
Image source: www.bestsociologyprograms.comsusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-74535176701425706962012-12-30T18:47:00.000-05:002012-12-31T11:48:47.370-05:00Why I Hate New Year's Eve
This is my most popular post. Nothing has changed in the time I've written it. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, my least favorite night of the year.
The best way I know how to cope with it is to go to sleep around 9 pm so when I wake up around 3 am it's over.
In most ways, 2012 has been the worst year of my adult life. For once, I am glad to see a year go. I hope and wish a great 2013 for all who susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-59968518120669442952012-12-24T09:31:00.000-05:002012-12-24T09:48:01.433-05:00Trying not to be a Grinchette
I'm here. If I said the last few months, if not this last year has been horrible, I don't know if too many people would believe me.
It has been impossible to write. I stay in bed most of the day because that is all I can do. I've wanted to write and I try, but I didn't. My brain seemed broken, and even worse, when I was able to write a few words, for my blog, they seemed hollow, empty and susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-52343238411018733142012-12-17T09:00:00.002-05:002012-12-17T09:00:53.908-05:00Rememberingsusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-5362716593251814292012-10-28T22:24:00.000-04:002012-10-28T22:29:52.698-04:00Touching Base
Hello
I'm still here. Been battling a very bad depression, couldn't get out of the bed, couldn't write, didn't want to burden anyone with how bad it was going.
There was a lot of talk about hospitalization, and a medication that would not cause any more damage to my body but in the long run, I just totally cut the cord with the computer not wanting to upset anyone how bad things were going.
susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-37925980611883092982012-09-10T11:05:00.000-04:002012-09-10T11:05:58.357-04:00World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10, 2012Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Almost every site I have seen have places to call if you are feeling suicidal, and lots of history and statistics of suicide. Some bloggers are adamant that suicide can be prevented. Some aren't. A few sites, eager to show that the blogger has a very good education, spew out facts from Durkheim, and go into 21st century stats.
Here's the honest truth. Most susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-15720028601531889852012-09-02T16:44:00.002-04:002012-09-02T17:12:48.872-04:00High Dives and un fluffy pillowsI'm deathly afraid of heights. One nightmare that keeps playing over and over in my head is a true account, yet I am dreaming about it almost nightly. Growing up my sister and I were very close to a neighbor, one of the nicest widows you would ever want to meet. She was considered family.
In the summertime she joined the local swim club and my sister and I would go with her for the afternoon. Itsusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-66110289746134787342012-08-20T17:42:00.001-04:002012-08-20T17:52:23.820-04:00Rerun and update: Susan an IntroductionI apologize if I haven't been writing. The mind is willing, the flesh is weak. I found a piece I wanted to share again, and just add a few updates. It was originally written in 2002. I re wrote it again for the blog in 2009. In 2003 I went back on meds after being off them for most of 2002,due to a hospitalization and family pressure. I stayed on them until November 2010. Since then, susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-12119532537189492832012-08-08T10:56:00.000-04:002012-08-08T10:56:37.255-04:00World Cat Day 8/8/2012Today is World Cat Day. It's a holiday where you must spoil your cats rotten. Oh wait, that's every day. Still and all they say "every dog has his day" and today is the day where dogs are pushed aside and it's all about the fabulous feline.
Sparkle the cat has some really good suggestions how to spoil your cat on her blog.
Begin the day by serving breakfast in bed to your cat. In your susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-18693673054738358752012-07-31T12:19:00.001-04:002012-08-01T17:43:02.019-04:00We're not the only ones who get depressedThis should come as no surprise, especially to those of us who have animals in our lives. According to a just published news article, monkeys are being treated for depression in Argentina.
The article states that , black howler monkeys at an Argentine ecological park have been suffering depression following the death of two of the oldest females in the group and had to be given medication susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-48903851462701150852012-07-30T20:30:00.000-04:002012-07-30T20:30:07.946-04:00All you need to know about sugar - InfographicBut was afraid to ask
Created by: www.OnlineNursingPrograms.comsusanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-59092232140930110262012-07-29T02:28:00.005-04:002012-07-29T06:57:07.724-04:00Major Problems with Blog right nowHi. It appears someone or something has removed page elements and several things have been removed from my blog from posts to elements on the side .
I don't know what to do, I am having no such luck contacting Blogger, but I was able to contact the third party element that was compromised.
If you find something wonky please let me know, if anything else goes missing let me know. This is most susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-38523735254067344122012-07-25T18:59:00.001-04:002012-07-25T19:23:42.520-04:00Wednesday Wonders- HenriIf you're like me, you've hardly been on the computer the last few days. It's a good thing in my case, I've been getting out and doing things. Today was the first day since last Saturday where I did have a bout of agoraphobia.
I've been doing a little bit of writing for the blog, I wrote a piece yesterday but I'm not happy with it to post, it still needs tweaking. So I thought - let's post susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-12127227715944567512012-07-22T18:12:00.004-04:002012-07-23T06:48:32.175-04:00CrossroadsCrossroads. My life, ever so turbulent, takes another turn. I'm trying little things to ward off feelings of sadness, by using little tricks I've learned. Since I am not working, I get up every day at the same time. No hitting the alarm clock for extra ZZZZ's.
Every day has to have a routine. This is the hardest thing for newly retired people to learn, when you are use to working you have a susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-56252391643735885582012-07-21T10:41:00.001-04:002012-07-21T13:56:06.285-04:00Avoiding Triggers and Bad NewsI don't want to write this piece, but I feel like it's mandatory.
Unless you've been off line the last day or so, once again the US had a fatal public shooting, this time during a midnight opening showing of the new "Batman" movie.
Once again, the media, doing what they do, run an interview the survivors. Hear the horrible tales. For the next few weeks, we will be assaulted by news of the susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-17118967951720807982012-07-09T18:51:00.002-04:002012-07-09T20:35:49.439-04:00There but for the grace of you go IIt's been hotter than Hades here on the East Coast. Indeed, news reports are saying it's the warmest weather in over 100. Records are being smashed.
All I know, baby it's hot outside. So I stay inside, with a semi working air conditioner that is doing the best job to keep me cool. I can't complain. I have electricity. Parts of the East Coast are still without electricity, and other parts are susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-50753224059410867902012-07-09T15:44:00.000-04:002012-07-09T15:44:55.293-04:00Error CodeFor some reason, some people, including me, have tried to access this blog today and are receiving an error code from Blogger.
I've notified Blogger and let them know. If this happens to you, keep hitting refresh button until the blog comes up on line. It should take two or three hits.
I am sorry for any problems this may have caused.susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-90300457946563457472012-07-05T17:59:00.000-04:002012-07-05T17:59:22.963-04:00Lazy, Hazy, Days of SummerConfusion. Sometimes my brain is so confused I don't know if I am coming or going. So what else is new?
I've been tired. Tireder than anything. You know you are tired when you are sleeping more hours a day than a cat. It's not the sleep that comes from depression or boredom it's the kind that comes from being downright tired, worn out, feeling sick but you don't know why everything is hurting. susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-39587555544834693812012-07-05T17:38:00.000-04:002012-07-05T17:38:23.410-04:00Million Dollar Big Pharma (infographic)Thank you for a friend on Facebook for sending this to me. I think the graphic says it all.susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-57509290821728594972012-05-31T17:03:00.000-04:002012-05-31T17:03:37.636-04:00Dead computer among other thingsHi. I just want to assure anyone reading this- I am ok... the reason I have not blogged in two weeks is this. I have been taking care of a sick family member, and the cat, for some reason unknown, actually peed on my computer. She has never gone outside her litter box, and the fact she took my two year Mac as an object...
I should be back in a few days once I can rustle up a computer.
The susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6060627539063061936.post-3898347543471398632012-05-16T14:54:00.001-04:002012-05-17T08:12:54.930-04:00Love, Labels and Lies
"Hi. My name is Susan and I have been diagnosed as Bipolar 1, ultra rapid cycler. I've been on over 50 different med cocktails, seen over 30 psychiatrists, and had ECT. On a scale of one to ten, I am feeling about a five tonight. Flat. Sleepy. I'm happy to be here tonight."
So the check in continues in my old support group. Name, diagnosis. Meds you are currently on. How you are feeling, how susanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14474227548195593445noreply@blogger.com15