And here's one from today's Onion!

From Today's Onion.


CORAL SPRINGS, FL—Mike Oakland, 29, told reporters Monday he is not about to pay $100 to have his 5-month-old cat, Mowgli, neutered, because he has no expectations that the dull, paunchy tabby will ever get laid.

"For all he's going to use those balls, he might as well keep them," said Oakland, adding that he'd bet anyone any amount of money that the striped kitten will die a virgin. "He never leaves the house, and I've seen how the neighbor cat looks at him. Completely platonic." When reached for comment, a spokesperson from the Florida Humane Society reiterated that it's important to have all pets spayed or neutered, even ugly lame-o's who probably couldn't score in a roomful of calicos in heat.

Mr. Happy's Vacuum

I am still remarkably depressed, unable to eat.


I had been working on "25 things you don't know about me", which I have seen on several blogs. Here is one as a treat now, it has some good reading - I mean , it mentions NJ shore, and male anatomy!


This is a Darwin Award - and I had the misfortune of dating the guy in this article for several months back in 92.

(13 May 1998, New Jersey) There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.
Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.

Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.

Hell on Earth

The other night I pulled out Dante and started to read.Dante is not a good choice to read if you are in a crippling depressive episode.


Crippling yes. Getting out of bed is pure torture, unless it is to use the bathroom. Talking on the phone is like a canary in a coal mine clutching for air.

I can barely walk to the kitchen to change the cat box and put more kibble in her bowl, and give her a fresh bowl of cold ice water.

Crawl back to bed, hold stuffed animal tight and wait- for what? Death?

Because I could not stop for death
He kindly stopped for me.

Yeah right. He's stopping for me. Thanks Emily. Even Dante, with his wood of suicides and the birds pecking seems better than this. At least the birds aren't pooping on you too.

I just want to stay alive and if it means bed, unable to move, so be it. It will either pass, or. or... or....

I will be taking a dirt bath next to my grandparents in the family plot. Nice cemetery, but the plot faces Bloomies. That sounds like hell to me. I wonder what Dante would think of that.

My First Meme

I was tagged by the the amazing Bitter Animator for this alphabet meme. Here goes!

A – Age: It's not nice to ask a lady her age. 40 something. Dunno. Birthday coming up.


B – Bed Size: Full size. Large enough for the cat and i to slumber, and her favorite stuffed animal as well.


C – Chore you hate: Housework. I am the antithesis of Martha Stewart


D – Dog’s name: I don't have a dog, but if I did his name would be "Barkis", as in 'Barkis is willing".


E – Essential start your day item: Ice tea or Diet Coke with lots of ice.


F – Favorite colour: Right now, orange or yellow.


G – Gold or Silver: Silver. .


H – Height: 5' 0""


I – Instruments you play(ed): Clarinet, Alto Clarinet (think of the clarinet in the movie "Heaven Can Wait") and Soprano Clarinet.


J – Job title: Unemployed.


K – Kid(s): None


L – Living arrangements: A one bedroom apartment.


M – Mom’s name: Mom.


N – Nicknames: Oh gosh. In Jr. High I was called "Georgette". From a character in the old Mary Tyler Moore Show. No nicknames since.

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Tonsils removed at 4 years of age. Tonsils removed again in 7th grade. (They grew back). Wisdom teeth removed in 8th grade. Lyme's disease at 22. Pneumonia last year. Adverse reaction to Haldol last year as well which almost killed me ( I did flat line).


P – Pet Peeve: New Jersey drivers on the Parkway and Turnpike.

Q – Quote from a movie: "I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that". "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."


R – Right or left handed: Right.


S – Sports: Baseball couch potato.


T – Time you wake up: 8 am


U- Underwear: Umm, Victoria Secret from when I worked, some plain stuff from Target.


V – Vegetable you dislike: Brussel Sprouts.


W – Ways you run late: From NJ drivers on the road and looky loos driving to slow. Man, I hate driving.


X – X-rays you’ve had: One for my wrist when I broke it. Several MRI's of my brain, CAT scans, and what not. Oh yeah, my teeth.

Y – Yummy food you make: Spaghetti with meat sauce.


Z – Zoo favorite: Pandas, Polar bears, tigers. No line in the ladies room.

Now the hard part. I have to tag a few people. So I tag, Gianna, Stephany, Ana, and Mark. Or if you liked this meme and I didn't tag you, consider your self tagged and place it on your blog.

Complete Smoking Ban starts at NJ Psychiatric Facilities

Today's (NJ) Newark Star Ledger has a piece up, stating that

Beginning today, smoking will be banned in all areas of the Greystone Park and Ancora psychiatric hospitals, with similar bans to follow at three other state psychiatric facilities, Human Services Commissioner Jennifer Velez said.

Smoking already is forbidden inside state psychiatric hospitals. The measure extends the ban to outdoor areas and affects patients, employees and visitors.

I would like to know what genius convinced Governor Corzine this is a good thing. They sure as hell didn't ask me. I have been i private and public hospitals- and what do you do in them? You smoke. Like Eliot's Prufrock measuring his life by tea spoons, you measure the hours by cigarette breaks.

The article goes on...

The ban comes 15 months after Gov. Jon Corzine signed legislation that divided the state's mental health community; proponents praised the health benefits for patients while opponents said the ban it violates patients' civil rights.

"This initiative mirrors what is being done at hospitals, medical centers and corporations throughout the country and supports the Division of Mental Health Services' efforts to embrace a system which focuses on wellness and recovery," Velez said.

Deputy Human Services Commissioner Kevin Martone cited a national study from 2006 that showed people with mental illness live an average of 25 years less than the general population. Some 75 percent are estimated to be addicted to nicotine, contributing to the premature death, the study found.

"That's not acceptable. Our intent is to increase the life-spans of our patients, not to shorten them," Martone said. "As providers of health care, our state psychiatric hospitals should treat the illness, whether it is schizophrenia, nicotine dependence or high blood pressure.

Mr. Martone- with all due respect, since I know you by one degree of separation- The last time I was in a hospital, the smokers were going off the wall, craving their cigarettes. The nurses were giving them patches, but the thing is about a patch, you want something to hold in your fingers, to put in your mouth, to shake into an ashtray, to grind the butt down. It's not just the process of lighting the cigarette, putting it to your lips and inhaling, it's everything.

Take it away from people in psychiatric hospitals, what do you get? A bunch of unhappy smokers who are forced against their will to wear patches and crave a cigarette. They get unhappy. They snap at the doctors, and nurses. They are miserable, crabby, and just not pleasant to be around.


And you mention high blood pressure. How many psychiatric drugs increase blood pressure? Have you looked? If I had a choice between a pill like, say Zyprexa,and a Marlboro, guess which one I would take?


Article continues.... one for, one against, standard stuff, but worth reading. Especially this quote by Carolyn Beauchamp, the President of the Mental Health Association in NJ.

These are not regular hospitals. Many of these people are not there by choice but are committed against their wills, sometimes for long periods of time'' Carolyn Beauchamp, president of the Mental Health Association in New Jersey, said last night.

"We're not in favor of smoking, but we think in these particular settings there should be some different standards that consider the rights and needs of these patients," she said.

You know, it's come a long way since my first stay in a hospital , where everyone smoked in the day room. Now it's outside, one cigarette an hour, with the staff lightning them for the patients. But it's still better than nothing.

Why do I feel so strongly about this? Because I found out one or two cigarettes a week quiets my brain better than most of the drugs I have been on. When I am suffering from suicidal ideation, smoking is the only thing that can get me out of that.


I shudder to think what will happen if I am hospitalized again, and cannot smoke. They better have chocolate. Lots of it.





Ancora State Hospital, NJ, From the Newark Star Ledger

And now for something completely different

Something to make you smile, while the world today mourns Michael Jackson.


She always makes me smile. RIP Michael.

Last Words from some pretty interesting people

LAST WORDS

Thomas Jefferson--still survives...
~~ John Adams, US President, d. July 4, 1826
(Actually, Jefferson had died earlier that same day.)

This is the last of earth! I am content.
~~ John Quincy Adams, US President, d. February 21, 1848

See in what peace a Christian can die.
~~ Joseph Addison, writer, d. June 17, 1719

Is it not meningitis?
~~ Louisa M. Alcott, writer, d. 1888

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
~~ Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Nothing, but death.
When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.
~~ Jane Austen, writer, d. July 18, 1817

Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
~~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, d. 1891

I can't sleep.
~~ James M. Barrie, author, d. 1937

Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.
~~ Ethel Barrymore, actress, d. June 18, 1959

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
~~ John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace.
~~ Thomas à Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, d.1170

Now comes the mystery.
~~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, d. March 8, 1887

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
~~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, d. March 26, 1827

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
~~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

Josephine...
~~ Napoleon Bonaparte, French Emperor, May 5, 1821

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
~~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.
~~ Johannes Brahms, composer, d. April 3, 1897

Oh, I am not going to die, am I? He will not separate us, we have been so happy.
Spoken to her husband of 9 months, Rev. Arthur Nicholls.
~~ Charlotte Bronte, writer, d. March 31, 1855


Beautiful.
In reply to her husband who had asked how she felt.
~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning, writer, d. June 28, 1861

Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight.
~~ Lord George Byron, writer, d. 1824

Et tu, Brute?
Assassinated.
~~ Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman Emperor, d. 44 BC

I am still alive!
Stabbed to death by his own guards - (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)
~~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, d.41 AD

Don't let poor Nelly (his mistress, Nell Gwynne) starve.
~~ Charles II, King of England, d. 1685

Ay Jesus.
~~ Charles V, King of France, d. 1380

I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
~~ Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, writer, d. July 1, 1904

The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won't be buried alive.
Dying of tuberculosis.
~~ Frederic Chopin, composer, d. October 16, 1849

I'm bored with it all.
Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.
~~ Winston Churchill, statesman, d. January 24, 1965

This time it will be a long one.
~~ Georges Clemenceau, French premier, d. 1929

I have tried so hard to do the right.
~~ Grover Cleveland, US President, d. 1908

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
~~ Lou Costello, comedian, d. March 3, 1959

Goodnight my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow.
~~ Noel Coward, writer, d. 1973

Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977

That was a great game of golf, fellers.
~~ Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby, singer / actor, d. October 14, 1977

I am not the least afraid to die.
~~ Charles Darwin, d. April 19, 1882

My God. What's happened?
~~ Diana (Spencer), Princess of Wales, d. August 31, 1997

I must go in, the fog is rising.
~~ Emily Dickinson, poet, d. 1886

Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?
Minutes before her plane crashed.
~~ Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, d. 1996

Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)
~~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, d. 1927

Please know that I am quite aware of the hazards. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.
Last letter to her husband before her last flight.
KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.
Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.
~~ Amelia Earhart, d. 1937

It is very beautiful over there.
~~ Thomas Alva Edison, inventor, d. October 18, 1931

No, I shall not give in. I shall go on. I shall work to the end.
~~ Edward VII, King of England, d. 1910

All my possessions for a moment of time.
~~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, d. 1603

I've never felt better.
~~ Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor, d. December 12, 1939

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.
~~ Richard Feynman, physicist, d. 1988

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
~~ Errol Flynn, actor, d. October 14, 1959

A dying man can do nothing easy.
~~ Benjamin Franklin, statesman, d. April 17, 1790

Come my little one, and give me your hand.
Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.
~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, d. March 22, 1832

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.
Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.
~~ Ernesto "Che" Guevara, d. October 9, 1967

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.
When asked if he thought dying was tough.
~~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, d. September 6, 1959

God will pardon me, that's his line of work.
~~ Heinrich Heine, poet, d. February 15, 1856

Turn up the lights, I don't want to go home in the dark.
~~ O. Henry (William Sidney Porter), writer, d. June 4, 1910

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
~~ Henry VIII, King of England, d. 1547

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
~~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, d. 1679

I see black light.
~~ Victor Hugo, writer, d. May 22, 1885

Oh, do not cry - be good children and we will all meet in heaven.
~~ Andrew Jackson, US President, d. 1845

Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the US Civil War.
~~ General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, d. 1863

Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826

Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
From Luke 23:46
~~ Jesus Christ

Does nobody understand?
~~ James Joyce, writer, d. 1941

Why not? Yeah.
~~ Timothy Leary, d. May 31, 1996

Now I have finished with all earthly business, and high time too. Yes, yes, my dear child, now comes death.
~~ Franz Leher, composer, d. October 24, 1948

A King should die standing.
~~ Louis XVIII, King of France, d. 1824

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?
~~ Louis XIV, King of France, d. 1715

I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.
~~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, d. 1820

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.
~~ Walter De La Mare, writer, d. 1956

Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883

Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
~~ Louis B. Mayer, film producer, d. October 29, 1957

It's all been very interesting.
~~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, d. 1762

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953

Good-bye . . . why am I hemorrhaging?
~~ Boris Pasternak, writer, d. 1959

Get my swan costume ready.
~~ Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.
Giving his reasons for refusing to see a priest as he lay dying.
~~ Pietro Perugino, Italian painter, d. 1523

Lord help my poor soul.
~~ Edgar Allan Poe, writer, d. October 7, 1849

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.
~~ Alexander Pope, writer, d. May 30, 1744

I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.
~~ François Rabelais, writer, d. 1553

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

God bless... God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

I feel here that this time they have succeeded.
~~ Leon Trotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.
Spoken to his wife.
~~ James K. Polk, US President, d. 1849

Here am I, dying of a hundred good symptoms.
~~ Alexander Pope, writer, d. May 30, 1744

I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.
~~ François Rabelais, writer, d. 1553

I have a terrific headache.
He died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, d. 1945

Put out the light.
~~ Theodore Roosevelt, US President, d. 1919

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist. . . .
Killed in battle during US Civil War.
~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864

Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
Spoken to his nurse.
~~ George Bernard Shaw, playwright, d. November 2, 1950

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record . . .
~~ Dylan Thomas, poet, d. 1953

Moose . . . Indian . . .
~~ Henry David Thoreau, writer, d. May 6, 1862

God bless... God damn.
~~ James Thurber, humorist, d. 1961

I feel here that this time they have succeeded.
~~ Leon Trotsky, Russian revolutionary, d. 1940

Don't worry chief, it will be alright.
~~ Rudolph Valentino, actor, d. August 23, 1926

Woe is me. Me thinks I'm turning into a god.
~~ Vespasian, Roman Emperor, d. 79 AD

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
~~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary, d. 1923

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
~~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, d. 1519

I die hard but am not afraid to go.
~~ George Washington, US President, d. December 14, 1799

Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

I am ready.
~~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, d. 1924

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!
~~ Florenz Ziegfeld, showman, d. July 22, 1932



EXECUTIONS

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
Executed in electric chair in New York.
~~ George Appel, d. 1928

You are going to hurt me, please don't hurt me, just one more moment, I beg you!
Guillotined.
~~ Madame du Barry, mistress of Louis XV, d. 1793

I am going to be face to face with Jesus now. . . . I love you all very much. I will see you all when you get there. . . . I will wait for you.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Karla Faye Tucker Brown, d. February 3, 1998

Take a step forward, lads. It will be easier that way.
Executed by firing squad.
~~ Erskine Childers, Irish patriot, d. November 24, 1922

Thank you for the change in my life you have given me, the love and closeness of my family and my beautiful daughter. Thank you for using me...
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ John Cockrum, d. September 30, 1997

You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.
Executed in electric chair.
~~ Francis "Two Gun" Crowley, d. 1931

I'm going home, babe.
Executed by injection, Delaware.
~~ James Allen Red Dog, d. March 3, 1993

Remember, the death penalty is murder.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Robert Drew, d. August 2, 1994

Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.
Last words on the gallows.
~~ George Engel
(He was one of four executed after the 1886 Haymarket bombing in Chicago)

I love you.
Spoken to the executioner.
Executed by injection, New York.
~~ Sean Flannagan, d. June 23, 1989

How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma.
~~ James French, d. 1966

I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr., d. February 11, 1992

Let's do it!
Executed by firing squad, Utah.
~~ Gary Gilmore, d. January 17, 1977

I'd rather be fishing.
Executed in electric chair, Louisiana.
~~ Jimmy Glass, d. June 12, 1987

Good people are always so sure they're right.
Executed at San Quentin.
~~ Barbara Graham, d. June 3, 1955

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995

Lock and load. Let's do it.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ G. W. Green, d. November 12, 1991

You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.
Executed in California's gas chamber.
~~ Robert Alton Harris, d. April 21, 1992

It is the duty of every good officer to obey any orders given him by his commander-in-chief.
(Actual)
Shot by British as a spy.
~~ Nathan Hale, American hero, d. 1776

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.
(Attributed)
~~ Nathan Hale

I am innocent, innocent, innocent. Make no mistake about this. I owe society nothing. I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Lionel Herrera d. May 12, 1993

I don't hold any grudges. This is my doing. Sorry it happened.
Executed in electric chair, Indiana.
~~ Steven Judy, d. March 9, 1981

Such is Life
Executed by hanging.
~~ Ned Kelly, Australian bushranger, d. 1880

I love you, mom.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Clarence Lackey, d. May 20, 1997

Farewell, my children, forever. I go to your Father.
Executed by guillotine.
Monsieur, I beg your pardon.
Spoken to the executioner, after she stepped on his foot.
~~ Marie Antoinette, Queen of France, d. October 16, 1793

Today is a good day to die. I forgive all of you. I hope God does too.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Mario Benjamin Murphy, d. September 17, 1997

Shoot me in the chest!
To his executioners.
~~Benito Mussolini, Italian dictator, d.1945

Shoot straight you bastards and don't make a mess of it!
Executed by firing squad.
~~ Harry Harbord "Breaker" Morant, Australian poet & national hero, d. 1902

Hurry it up you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you're screwing around.
Executed by hanging Leavenworth, Kansas.
~~ Carl Panzram, d. September 5, 1930

So the heart be right, it is no matter which way the head lieth.
Executed by beheading.
~~ Sir Walter Raleigh, d. October 29, 1618

Well, the Lord is going to get another one.
Executed in electric chair, Georgia.
~~ John Eldon Smith, d. December 15, 1983

Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment.
Executed in electric chair, Florida.
~~ John Spenkelink, d. May 25, 1979

Adios.
Executed by injection in Maryland.
~~ John Thanos, d. May 16, 1994


SUICIDES

And so I leave this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead.
Suicide note.
~~ Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort, French writer, d. 1794

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances for her life will be so much happier without me. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
Suicide note.
~~ Kurt Cobain, musician, d. April 8, 1994

Goodbye, everybody!
Last words as he jumped off the cruise ship "Orizaba." (His body was never found.)
~~ Hart Crane, poet, d. April 27, 1932

To my friends: My work is done. Why wait?
Suicide note.
~~ George Eastman, inventor, d. March 14, 1932

Lets see if this will do it.
Accidental suicide as he shot himself with a blank-loaded pistol on the set of TV spy show "Cover Up." The concussion forced a chunk of his skull into his brain; he died six days later.
~~ Jon Erik Hexum, actor, d. October 18, 1984

All fled--all done, so lift me on the pyre;
The feast is over, and the lamps expire.
Suicide note.
~~ Robert E. Howard, writer, d. June 11, 1936

Don't worry, it's not loaded.
Suicide playing Russian roulette.
~~ Terry Kath, rock musician, d. January 23, 1978

They tried to get me - I got them first!
Suicide by drinking Lysol.
~~ Vachel Lindsay, poet, d. December 4, 1931

I must end it. There's no hope left. I'll be at peace. No one had anything to do with this. My decision totally.
Suicide note.
~~ Freddie Prinze, comedian, d. January 29, 1977

Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool - good luck.
Suicide note.
~~ George Sanders, British actor, d. April 25, 1972

When I am dead, and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain drenched hair,
Tho you should lean above me broken hearted,
I shall not care.
For I shall have peace.
As leafey trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough.
And I shall be more silent and cold hearted
Than you are now.
Suicide note to her lover who left her.
~~ Sara Teasdale, poet, d. 1933

To Harald, may God forgive you and forgive me too but I prefer to take my life away and our baby's before I bring him with shame or killing him, Lupe.
Suicide note.
~~ Lupe Velez, actress, d. December 13, 1944

The future is just old age and illness and pain.... I must have peace and this is the only way.
Suicide note.
~~ James Whale, film director, d. May 29, 1957

I feel certain that I'm going mad again. I feel we can't go thru another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices
Suicide note
~~ Virginia Woolf, author, d. March 28, 1941

A Confusing Prayer for Me

Ever since I was a little girl, I would say this prayer before I went to bed.

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take"



I say this prayer every night, something my mother taught me, along with brushing your teeth, washing behind your ears, and wearing clean underwear every day.

What I want to know, is what if you die in your sleep, (Before you wake)and no one wants to take your soul?

Do you not die?

I am confused.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY

Happy 4th of July, to everyone from me and the striped cat!

Zager and Evans were right, they just had the year wrong

Listen:

"In the year 3535
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies
Everything you think, do, or say
Is in the pill you took today"

Like I said. Zager and Evans were right, they just got the year wrong.