Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thank you, thank you, and love to Liz

I really feel blessed to have people in my life, sometimes when I don't think I do. One of them is Liz Spikol, editor of Philadelphia Weekly magazine, and proud blogger of The Trouble With Spikol.

I met Liz about 2 years ago, she came to give a talk to my support group, and she brought the house down. She is slender in person, with the most beautiful hair I have ever seen in my life. As she told her story, she entranced us like Scheherazade, telling her story about her childhood, her parents, and sibling, her time at college, and then her time in a mental hospital in Texas, her experiences (good bad and ugly) with different drugs, and yes, ECT. You could hear a pin drop. For two hours we were enthralled. Then it was over, she gave me a bone crushing hug, we walked out together in the night air, passed the crowd smoking, and she showed me she had rented a car to take the trip from Philly to Princeton. I had tears in my eyes.

Hearing Liz's story reminded me of my own, our upbringing and parents are almost carbon copies of each other, and our ECT experience could have been the same. I always thought of Liz as a cool younger sister somehow. I really truly like her. She also helped me out when my marriage ended by publishing little snippets I was writing as therapy, anything to keep my mind occupied back then. "Writing and ice cream", Liz said, though she is so thin, I doubt she eats much of it. And as for writing, her father is also a brilliant writer- if you can find a used copy of his books on Amazon it's worth it.

Yesterday Liz showed what a big heart she has, by publishing some of my ramblings. I do, I confess, get very very depressed bordering on suicidal ideation in July and August. Part of it is from years of lithium use, I cannot tolerate heat, I cannot tolerate sun, I have to stay where it's nice and cold. if I were rich, I would go to Alaska during this time and just live near the snow, and be a snow bunny.

I was amazed at the kindness of her readers, and the people who came here. I plan on thanking everyone personally, over the next few days. I didn't think anyone cared for other people- depression will do that to you. Make you forget about the good in the universe, and see only the bad.

I am grateful to Liz, and to all that replied.

And Liz- I am going to come down to see you, and bring you the biggest cheesesteak Geno's makes for lunch.


Heather said...

xoxo. Hold tight.

Anonymous said...

Susan, I'm sorry this comment comes a few days late, but your blog title says it better than anything else can. If I've been a sporadic reader, it's only b/c I'm a sporadic reader of *everything*.

So many of us have been where you've been, at that point where no one else could ever possibly have been.

At the risk of sounding trite (oh, hell, with the certainty of sounding trite), even July & August must pass. Keep going.


Annapurna Moffatt said...

This is all the thanks I need: the knowledge that my words helped at least a little bit.

You're welcome!

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