Friday, January 23, 2009

On Pondering the Meaning of Life and Ferlinghetti

Currently in the worst depressive episode since April 93. Spent the entire day in bed unable to do anything, cannot eat, just want to sleep and never wake up again.

One of my favorite poems in the universe. I don't want to get out of bed ever again until Keats' Lovers touch. I don't think they ever will, and Keats, and Shelley and Coleridge and Browning are all dust. I've spent my whole life waiting for Godot. What is the meaning of life?
I am waiting
to get some intimations
of immortality
by recollecting my early childhood
and I am waiting
for the green mornings to come again
for some strains of unpremeditated art
to shake my typewriter
and I am waiting to write
the great indelible poem
and I am waiting
for the last long rapture
and I am perpetually waiting
for the fleeting lovers on the Grecian Urn
to catch each other at last
and embrace
and I am awaiting
perpetually and forever
a renaissance of wonder

Lawrence Ferlinghetti


Andy A said...

If it means anything, I'm thinking of you. I hope you can feel better soon.

susan said...

Thank you Andy

Stephany said...

We have to live life to find its meaning; and then the definition will be different that someone else's, it's a neverending quest. Feel better!

Ana said...

Hope you get better soon

susan said...

@Thank you Stephany. You have such wisdom, no wonder why I love you.

@Ana, thank you. I hope you are well too......

Mary LA said...

Such a wonderful poem -- Susan you are in my thoughts and I long for you to feel better. Please take care and email me if contact helps.

Love & strength

Mary in Africa

eileen said...

Thanks for the lovely poem - I hadn't read it before. It conveys such a sense of longing and loss...
Hope you are better as soon as possible,

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Dearest Susan,

If it weren't for you, I'd not have read this poem.

If it weren't for you, Miss Holly would be alone.

If it weren't for you, Princeton would be diminished.

If it weren't for you, mental health would be without a still, small voice of truth.

If it weren't for you, I'd have no role model of ECT survival.

If it weren't for you, the hope and insight you have given so many would be nothing but air and dust.

Hang in there, lovie.

susan said...

@Mary, thank you. It means a lot to me. Yes I do owe you and the pups an email .

@Eileen, thank you. It's Ferlinghetti, for some reason this week he has really been speaking to me.

@Dano, thank you my friend. It meant a lot to me what you said. love to your kittie.s

Sherry said...

Don't forget you've been sick lately. Some of my worst depressions have been kicked off by episodes of the flu. Apparently this is rather common. Kind of like the flu "diesels".

What a pain in the butt, eh?

Immi said...

I hope you feel better soon Susan. I wonder about any meaning in life lately myself. So goody goody we can be depressed together. Better than alone I guess. *hugs*

OH the meaning of life is: Cats. One of mine just reminded me. heh

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