Saturday, August 29, 2009

My nerves are bad tonight




I don't know if i am dying, or already dead. I don't know if I want to be dead or alive anymore. I don't know anything anymore. Even no respite, no help from beloved Eliot.



My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.


'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.


'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?

'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'




I think we are in rats' alley


Where the dead men lost their bones.






The wind under the door.


'What is that noise now? What is the wind doing?'




'You know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember


'Nothing?'

I remember nothing. April is not the cruelest month. September is.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Susan... *hugs*

I know how it is when things seem like a wasteland both inside and out. Holly is there for you, and I'm sending comforts from out here in cyberspace.

Littlewolf

susan said...

Thank you Littlewolf. That means a lot to me.

Stephany said...

Hey Happy early Birthday!

Mary LA said...

Take care Susan -- such a hard time for you.

xxmary

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan,

Hope you're doing better today. :)

Hugs and tailwags,
Littlewolf

sisyphusgal said...

Maybe the words of Elliott Smith might help to know you are not alone.

a passing feeling

everything is gone but the echo of the burst of a shell
and i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
in the city i built up and blew to hell
i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
still i sinned all the time
my request for relief
down the dead power lines
though i'm beyond belief
in the help i require
just to exist at all
took a long time to stand
took an hour to fall.
i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
still i sinned all the time
my request for relief
down the dead power lines
though i'm beyond belief
in the help i require
just to exist at all
took a long time to stand
took an hour to fall

Southernbelle said...

I'm sorry you're going thru such a rough time right now, my dearest Meowgal! You know I love you dearly, and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Purrs and snuggles to you and the Striped One!!

HUGE HUGS,
Patti

Mala50 said...

Happy birthday Susan!

I hope September improves for you my dear friend.

Stan said...

Dear Susan:

Do to the effects the monstrous amount of Birthday candles used in celebrating a Birthday at your advanced age would have on the environment and global warming.

We have decided to forgo such ludicrous celebratory practices and revert back to hard spanking. Hope you can handle the pain LMAO.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

PS: What size and color Depends for the inactive adult were you hoping for anywise?

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