The important thing is to deep breathe, relax, try to meditate. Try counting to 100. It it's too big a number, count to ten. Then do it backwards if you can. Feel every muscle in your body, and think of names for it. Same with the bones. It doesn't matter what their real names are, make them up. If it's night, and you can see the stars, make up names for each of the stars. Name a star after yourself, your family, your pets, even the hot movie star you idolize.
Try to be around people. If it's 2 am like it is here, and there are no people around, none to call, turn on the radio and loose yourself in that.
If things get bad dial 911, or what ever the emergency code is for your country.
Don't look for a rope, or a knife, a gun, it won't solve anything , and the feeling is temporary.
Or write a little blog post like I am doing now, while I fight the same suicidal feelings and thoughts.
It's only temporary. IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY.
And as Scarlett O'Hara said "Tomorrow is another day".
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11 comments:
Hi Susan
Hopefully you are asleep. It is 12 here in CA, and it looks like you wrote a little over an hour ago. If you are still up, know that I am thinking of you in your pain, and sending you every wish for relief. Would it be presumptuous of me to send you a recent blog essay I wrote about depression? It grows out of my own struggles with suicide, plus things I've learned recently from others. If it annoys you to be sent such things, I apologize. Feel free to tell me, so I'll avoid touching raw nerves in the future.
Tomorrow is another day. So true. And each day is a fresh start.
Remember my body-replacement theory? That you are a completely new being when you wake up. Okay, that doesn't sound all that likely but there's a truth to it.
Each day is a new beginning.
And who knows what that day could bring?
Alex from the Healing Philosophy blog wrote this on my sleep post - "My subconscious now recreates my body in perfect accordance with the perfect image held in the mind of God." It doesn't have to be God. You can use whatever words you wish, but I love the sentiment.
Hugs.
A list of people that you can call, know that you will be calling when there are one of these days helps too.
Put me on your list!!!
Wendy
((((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))))
@Will, i read your piece this morning, that and the piece on Cymbalta made me think, I just need to come up with a succinct reply. Send me anything you like, i will read.
@Bitter if your body replacement theory is correct, can i be 2 inches taller and 25 lbs lighter?
And a brunette?
@(((((ARI))))))
@Wendy, don't have your number and couldn''t call at 2 am. I think you have mine!
When it is that time of the night when reality becomes vague and you can hear your heart beating, but it hurts to think of life continuing, find your solace where you can. For me it is music. Usually depressing music comforts me because I can find myself in it.
Anyway, I hope blogging helped you. And if you are online searching for something, a little humour never hurts.
http://www.savagechickens.com/
I hope you're feeling better. Many hugs.
Videogames are cathartic to me.
Of course, I use them not so much as to help me cope with depression, but with my feelings of rage. Although I think that with me depression and anger are intertwined, in the sense that it pisses me off how screwed up this world is, and that brings me down.
A friend of mine says she sometimes goes to a shooting practice area to fire a gun. I told her that the western world will be a better place if I never get the chance to hold a fire arm! So to me a Gears of War Lancer will have to do ;-)
Hi Susan,
I don't know if this is helpful, but when I am really bored, I go through the alphabet and try to come up with a dog breed that starts with every letter. Of course, I am a dog lover that has a huge dog encyclopedia, so I can usually figure out a breed for most letters, but it uses up time. I've never used it when feeling really distressed, but it might work.
Just a thought.
Sending you kind wishes,
Littlewolf
Good advice.
Hi Harrad,
Thanks for stopping by. Much better since writing this piece.....
hope all is well with you and the doggies.
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