Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Bless You Andrew Sullivan

This is one of the most beautiful essays on bipolar I have ever read, and it's almost like I wrote this- it practically echoes my life in my twenties- only I didn't crash and burn until I was 23, lucky enough to get through school through mania interspersed with mild bouts of depression. It comes from today's blog by Andrew Sullivan.

When I'm off my medications, I will alternate spells of tearful anxiety fits with depressive episodes of 14 hours of sleep, the inability to concentrate, and near-constant suicidal thoughts. When I was kicked out of college (the first time) for bad grades, I was turned down by several private insurers for my pre-existing condition. And when my dad changed jobs, I was left in the lurch again. I've seen close to 12 doctors about it in the past four years, and believe me, as hard as it is to find a primary care physician, it is even more difficult to find a therapist that you like, trust, can afford, and who can treat your condition. And when you have a mental illness, you often have to switch prescriptions, dosage, and cocktails until you find a mixture that works for you. Sometimes, pills will stop working for no good reason, and it takes a quality professional to realize it and pull you out of a tailspin that you thought was being treated. And I'm sure your readers can tell even more stories about being turned down for jobs, being denied coverage, being hospitalized, and struggling for decades through the red tape, secrecy, and shame.

The author is lucky to have a good doc and realize that meds can poop out. I've never been able to find one and I've seen over 27 docs since my diagnosis.

The rest of the article is here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've never been able to find a good psychiatrist--got some doozies of stories about bad ones, though. I do have a therapist (psychologist) that has worked with me for close to 5 years, though, and she has gone the extra mile for me multiple times. I am very thankful to have her, and very lucky.


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