Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Slip sliding away

don't know what to say. Holly has been removed because of my worries, I cannot tell anyone I am hearing voices, a constant baby cry....... over and over. I don't know if it is the miscarriage I had, or what.

My apt gets work done on it and I am afraid. My whole life I have never been afraid. Now I am. I am afraid I am going crazy, the doc is threatening me with hospital. All from some bad meds, I am sure.

I cannot eat. I am afraid of being poisoned, so it's just cornflakes and milk. Nothing else. Last week it was hamburgers.

I keep seeing things. In empty cars there are people. I don;t know if they are empty or not, until I get right on top of it and see it's a head rest that looks like a human head.

Then I see heads, seperated from the body. Too much time I guess at St. Peter Ad Vincula. I guess.

Am I going crazy? Are the gods destroying me first?

No one to talk to in the middle of the night or in the day, I am loosing friends at a fast clip. I cannot say what is going on in my head! But it's better than yesterday, so maybe tomorrow will be great. If only I could eat something, but everything in the house is poisoned.

I really am one of the looneys that need to stay on the path.

Gosh so true. Raise the blade, you make the change, you re arrange me til I;m sane.


jessi said...

Dear Susan, Susan... Again raising my arms to reach out to you and hold you...

Will be responding to you some more but in a mail.

sending you love,


Stephany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

We're here for your Susan. We're here.

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