Thursday, February 14, 2008

2 am musings/loosing my sanity

I HAVE FLIPPED INTO HYPOMANIA. 2 DAYS WITHOUT SLEEP. I HAVE SOME MUSINGS HERE.


The lunatic is in my head. The lunatic is in my head. My head, my head. I am hearing voices that aren't there. I am seeing things that aren't there. please let me sleep. please let me sleep.

Oh god, I am going insane. Gotta keep those looneys on the path. Am I going crazy?

Down on my knees til they bleed. Help me god, Jesus, please, help me, help me. Make me sleep so I can feel better. Please. Not one yawn. I am horrible, sinner, maybe that is why I am awake. Or maybe it's a fevered brain that is tortured. I don't know. I feel like I am in a straight jacket. I cannot breathe.

The moon is outside, luna, lunatic. me. the lunatic is in the sky- where the word comes from. Another hospitalization, no no no no no no I cannnot sleep. I cannot eat. I just want to sleep. The doc puts me on more meds, I vomit, I shake. My hands shake so bad I can barely type.

I have to calm down, but I cannot. I'm insane. I want to be sane again. My skin feels like it's peeling off. Turning inside out.

lunatic.....lunatic.....lunatic.....


Stop my brain, please. Freeze it, take it out. Stop it please stop it please stop it please..before I turn into the lunatic on the grass.

Stop my brain stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop

2 comments:

Stephany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susan said...

Thank you. I would rather be depressed than manic.

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