Headache gone, what remains is worse......

The Migraine left about half hour ago. i got some tea, toast and marmalade down, and now......

Now comes the suicidal ideation and the existential despair. Of course, it's night. it's the type of thing, nestled with an anxiety attack that makes grown men want to eat their guns, instead of steak for dinner.

it's 95 degrees in my apartment, even with the air on, I've been dealing with brownouts all day. I shall turn off the computer, go take an ice cold bath, and then lie on top of my bed, in my birthday suit and dream of Antarctica. Or the North Pole. Santa baby, bring me a nice cold blast of air.........

I will turn on the radio, snuggle up with my panda bear, and pray for the morning, for the ideation to go the way of an Edsel. To stay safe, I will count from 1-100 and then backwards. I will try to recall all 600 and so muscles in my body, all 200 and so bones. If the cat decides to come in and lie near me, I will listen to her breathe, her purr, and just feel the touch of her fur on my skin. I can think of good times, like my first real kiss, or the first time I fell in love.

Or I wonder how much it costs to go to the North Pole. Maybe Santa could use another elf or two.