Tomato garden for anxiety?

The last few days I have been anxious, which is a novel experience for me. I don't get anxious. But it's been with me the last few days, and I don't know how to get rid of it- it's like that Pink Floyd line-

"I got a strong feeling to fly/
But I got no where to fly to".


This morning I realized as I had my cornflakes and milk that I was about to commit the number one Cardinal Sin in this apartment. I had run out of cat food. Holly's dry tin was empty. So I finished the corn flakes, burping up milk on my pj's because I ate too fast, threw on clothes, and drove like a bat out of hell to the supermarket to get the fuzz ball her dried food. And to make amends, I even got a can of Fancy Feast Tuna in dark gravy.

I was home quickly... poured it in her bowl, freshened her water, and gave her the Fancy Feast. All is well in kitteh land.

As I was leaving the store, I had a pain, like a heart attack. And  I felt like I was not going to die, but something was going to bother me. And  I saw it. The tomato plants. Looking at them made me smile, and I thought to myself- why don't I get one, plant it, nurture it, and have little Jersey tomatoes to eat in my salad and make tomato salads. 

Sounds nice? The only thing wrong with the picture is I have a dead thumb. Every plant I touch dies. But I picked up the tomato plant, paid $3.99 for it, and took it home. After the cat was fed and watered,I borrowed something which let me dig in the dirt in my postage stamp sized yard, put the tomato plant in there, watered it, and said a little prayer to Mother Earth that this plant won't die. 

And since 9 am I've been outside four times to check on my little green tomatoes. My little babies. Watering them. Hoping they are OK. Channelling my anxiety to something a bit more positive, which makes me feel a bit better. Less lost with it, less feeling like a heart attack in making. 

I think tomorrow I might go to get some fertilizer. Or maybe not. I really don't want to kill these tomatoes.  I don't want to be too anxious. I just wanna eat them. A little salt, a little pepper in all their glory.