Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Day 5, still no sleep

Sleep is still alluding me. It's day five now, I got an hour and a half, but cannot sleep. It's raining and thundering and lightning outside, so that should be good to cool off from.

But still cannot sleep. The cat sleeps, on her side looking lovely.

I slept on my side and had the strangest dreams I have had since I got off Seroquel.

My skin cannot stop itching, I took a shower and scraped it raw with the loofa. It bled and it is still itching. It's like it's moulting and I have fleas.

Maybe it's a good thing I am back awake.

I can lie back and listen to the sound of the rain on the roof. And scratch.


Not Very Anonymous Mom said...

i wish i could help you, i really do. i do know that you will beat this, you will be whatever the hell 'normal' is, and you will not always be alone.

you're so damn tough, you are an inspiration to me.

susan said...

Thank you Not Very Anonymous mom.

You are an inspiration to me as well, and as soon as I get around to updating my blogroll, I am adding your blog to it.

Fiddy said...


When I was withdrawing I found packing ice cubes in a towel and placing on the back of the neck helped. Also soaking a towel in very cold water then wrapping it around your head (Turban) also helped.

I was on a different drug as you know but, the cold kinda took the focus away of the adverse reactions I was getting.

Lemme know how you get on?


susan said...

Thanks Fiddy,

I had a cold water bottle and used that. Slept like a baby. Thank you!

Bob said...

I just finished reading all of your entries (I tend to be a litte obsesive) and I just want to tell you I admire your strength. I hope things brighten up for you (me as well. I am crashing after 3 weeks of being manic.)

Also thank you for turning me onto Sylvia Plath. I am reading The Bell Jar.

susan said...

Hi Bob,

Thank you for all the reading! It really made my day.

If you like Bell Jar, you will love her poems. It's not light reading, but it's amazing what she can do with the English Language. I used her poem "Lady Lazarus" on one of my entries.


Bob said...

I suspect I will be picking up her poetry as soon as I am finished with The Bell Jar. (Provided I can concentrate enough to read). The depressive side of this "disorder" makes me just want to curl up in a ball and do nothing.


susan said...

Bob, I understand about curling into a ball or not being able to get out of bed except to empty my bladder.

Keep fighting. You are worth it.



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