Sunday, February 7, 2010

A Journey Starts With A Baby Step


In the IOP program which I am currently attending, one of the things that makes the women laugh, are references to the old Richard Dreyfuss, Bill Murray movie "What About Bob?", and the references to "baby steps".

Baby steps have been my life the last week or so. I wrote about a week or so about needing help with my life, and I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love I got. But in the end, I realized I had to "shit or get off the pot". Or as they say in "AA", "Get off the cross, someone else needs the wood".

So it was baby steps for me. One day I dusted the night-table by the bed, and put the books away that were on it. One day I dusted the TV, and the stand it lies on. One day, the floor. One day, swept the kitchen floor, and the cat litter. One day vaccumed the carpets. Baby steps. I am still....still crying, still going to the IOP and barely functioning, but if I do one little thing each day- one small thing to clean, one small thing to get at the grocery store, a couple TV dinners, a small lettuce for a few salads, it's all good. Not what I was when I was high functioning, but baby steps. It's difficult. It's very difficult. But I don't have a choice. I have to get proverbial pot now. I have to get off that cross too.

All that's missing is Gil, the fish. I hope my cat didn't eat him.

10 comments:

Stanley said...

Way to go, Susan! It sounds like you're making some progress, and your outlook is much better!

Deputy's Wife said...

YAY! So excited for you and your baby steps! Baby steps turn into big steps eventually, so keep going!

Anonymous said...

This is going to sound silly, but what does IOP stand for?

And lots and lots of applause and encouragement to you for taking those baby steps! I know they are so hard to take, but they do get easier over time. It reminds me of that MLK quote (at least I think it is from MLK): "If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. But whatever you do, keep moving".

Lots of tailwags to you, and a big HAPPY BIRFDAY! to Holly!

Littlewolf

Anthony said...

Sounds like the old "pity pot" thing. Someone else needs the wood. I like that.

Those crosses are crowded!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm really impressed by your resolve and your ability to get yourself going. And baby steps are a great idea (and an homage to a great movie). Keep on truckin'! You're doing fabulously in my opinion.

Syd said...

Good for you Susan. Some days that is all any of us can do--those baby steps. I am baby stepping today a bit too.

susan said...

Syd, that's great. I've been learning a lot from you and your blog.

Sallyo said...

Good for you! The important thing is to do them, the speed doesn't matter.

Jen said...

On days like that, you HAVE to give yourself credit for blogging, too! When I am deep in depression, the last thing I want to do is blog, BUT it's helpful to share your challenges so that we ALL know that we're not alone! I look forward to reading more!

susan said...

Thank you Jen! I need to revise this one, I;m back to baby steps again in my life.

I guess you are never too old to take baby steps- or want to go to Disney.

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