Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sunnage On My Soul

From an email:

I just want to feel sand on between my toes, have some cabana boy bring me virgin drinks with silly umbrellas and lie somewhere where the sun can caress my skin and I can get enough courage to take my top off and restore my soul.


I am so tired. I don't think I have ever been this tired before in my life. It's not a physical tired, it's a tiredness in my soul. Is there a place where I can recharge my heart and soul for little to no money? Cause I have no money. But I need the sun.




15 comments:

Wendy said...

Susan, I went to a group therapy session tonight - survivors of sexual abuse - and met 10 women who more or less confirmed to me that all of us are feeling the tired to the bone disease...
I think we aren't laughing enough.
No, there isn't anything funny about survivors of sexual abuse, but I wish there was - I think I would have gotten much more out of it!
I personally haven't been to work in 3 days - hope no one from work is reading this, but I'm just so damn tired of them all....

Carter Nelsen said...

I know where you're at. I get to a point in the evening I can't even remember what the sun looks like.

tinkerbell the bipolar faerie said...

I wish I could send you the sun. It was so beautiful today. Sleep. Until you can't sleep anymore.

x

susan said...

@Wendy, I just feel tiredness in bones like you said, maybe it's the pre-leukemia, I don't know even the cat doesn't sleep with me anymore!

Normally I like winter more than summer, I just want to feel the sun again.

@Carter, I know....

@Tinkerbell, I haven't been able to sleep as much as I want to , my brain is too busy. Maybe that is why I want the quietness of a beach somewhere and just hear the waves on the shore.

Mary LA said...

I wish I could send you a plane ticket to Africa and you could sit in the hot sunlight with me talking about our favourite writers.

I hope your spring arrives soon darling.

Ana said...

I'm here Susan...
Love,
Ana

susan said...

Mary, that sounds lovely. Throw the puppies in too, and your got yourself a deal.

Hi Ana! Want some snow?

Deputy's Wife said...

Susan,

Thinking of you, sweet girl! I don't know your beliefs but have you tried church? It always makes me feel better when I spend some one on one time with my Father. Also, check out mdjunction.com It's an online support group and I just love it. Hope this helps!

-Ashleigh

Polar Bear said...

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and imagine the sun on your face and the breeze caress your soul.

I am familiar with that tiredness. How it drags you down sometimes. Sometimes I "go away" in my mind. It doesn't always work though.

susan said...

Polar , I've been trying to go away too in my mind. It's not working for the first time in years.

Deputy, I will try that, it's also been years.

Syd said...

How about a massage. That is very relaxing and adds a lot of recharge for the muscles.

susan said...

Are you offering Syd?

Wendy said...

Susan - some of us have gone "away" in our minds - that's were my problems started... Much nicer place than real life!
Syd's suggest sounds good - if you don't want it, send it to me....

The Girl In Orange said...

Try to go for a walk in the park, alone or with company, your choice, at least every sunday. Go for picnics amd laugh as much as possible. No serious conversations, no serious thought, just you and the sun :)

daedalus2u said...

If Susan can't go to the light, then the light must come to Susan.

What I do is use a 500 watt quartz halogen lamp.

http://www.amazon.com/Designers-Edge-L-18-One-Light-500-Watt/dp/B00076Q0JC/ref=pd_bxgy_hi_text_b

I sit under it while I eat my breakfast. It is an incandescent light, so it is broad spectrum. It is also kind of warm. It does help with SAD.

Related Posts with Thumbnails