Sunday, October 26, 2008

Samhain (re-post)

I wrote this a few years ago, and it is currently being adapted for an Off Off Broadway play for Fall 09.

Enjoy, and happy Halloween.


Samhain- definition. S A M H A I N (October 31st -Nov 1st)
The Last Harvest. The Earth nods a sad farewell to the God. We know that He will once again be reborn of the Goddess and the cycle will continue. This is the time of reflection, the time to honor the Ancients who have gone on before us and the time of 'Seeing" (divination). As we contemplate the Wheel of the Year, we come to recognize our own part in the eternal cycle of Life.

I know why I am here. They think I am crazy, don’t they? They want me to be normal. Don’t people realize normalcy does not exist?

You want me to lie down on your couch. No. Why? I do not want you, Mr. Viennese Head Thumper to get in my head. You want me to lie down and spill my guts, to tell you a nice story like Holden Caufield, or David Copperfield. You want me to say something wonderful, so you can write a paper, present it at your next Head thumpers convention and win some kind of Freud award. A silver cigar, or something.


I am here because people want to kill me. You know if I lived 400 years ago, I would have been burnt. For the very thing that I am about to tell you. I have died that way in the past. Can you not smell the smoke if you get too close? What they don’t tell you when you are burning, is that there are 2 ways to burn a witch. You didn’t know that? One is the humane way, not done so much for witches but for political heretics. You put a sack of gunpowder around their neck, so they die from that before the flames touch them. Or you burn. It’s painful. Do you know why witches were burnt? Because someone got the idea, it’s better to burn for the ten or 15 minutes it takes you to die on earth, than have your soul burn for all of eternity. Bloody Mary, Mary Tudor believed that. That is why she burnt so many Protestants at Smithfield. To save their souls.

Well now hers is burning. She knows how it feels.

So I am here because someone thinks I am crazy. I am not. If I was on the ”X files” I would have tons of fan mail. Do you think I want to see the things I see? Do you honestly believe that?

Oh my, then you need a shrink more than I do.

Is it a crime to see auras? No. To see past lives in people as you look at them? No. To see how they die, yes. That is a crime I am punished for continually. But am I breaking any laws? No.

Well, I can see how they will die in this lifetime. I can only see how they died in past lives. I can see they will be come back in the next life, unless they progress. So why am I here? Because of these visions?

Auras? What do you want to know about Auras? How long I have been seeing them? Since I was three or four. Good people had shiney ones. Bad people had dark ones. The dying have dark ones. I could not tell the difference until I was in my late twenties. I met someone, and he was a mess. I thought he was a God, he had a silvery aura, but it was black and silver. He followed Alistair Crowley. We walked down a street in New York and the dogs barked at him. I never saw anything like it. It scared me. One time a waiter didn’t wait on us correctly, he took out a match and said some horrid things on it. And lit it. I found out later the waiter died a few months later, his car flipped over , he couldn’t get out and he burnt to death.

I couldn’t save him. I wish I knew. But I did not know my powers then. I thought what was prophesized will take place. I did not know that some prophesies are warnings. I have since learned how to reverse magick, but it’s hard. Good fights evil, but … sometimes good does not win. Sometimes it’s a truce. Sometimes evil wins because good does not have the tools or knowledge to fight.

And sometimes evil recognizes good and wants to take it for itself. To claim it. Have you ever met a practioner of the black arts? I mean a real follower. It’s scary.

He tried to take my soul. I could have let him. I really could have. I was so tired then, and I wanted to die so badly. But my soul was not mine to give. It was promised to another. And you cannot give what you do not have. Can you?

Who has my soul? Oh that’s easy. My soul belongs to my twin soul, my best friend. . We swapped souls eons ago, and when I meet him again, we will reclaim them. The angels didn’t want us to swap like this, but we thought it would make our lives more difficult, therefore our karma would be better, and when we met again, it would be – my heaven.

They told us we might never meet each other again. One could evolve higher than another. Or go the other way. But I do not want anything to happen to his soul. I loved him so much. I miss him so much it tears me asunder.

I just am having problems with humans. This body does not work. I unzip myself out of it in the evenings, so I can fly to the moon and soar among the stars. Its so hard to come back. This reality this plane of existence is really limited. It’s so much better in higher dimensions.

And they send me to people like you because I see things.

What can I see in your aura? Well for one you smoke way too much. You stress. You drink too much coffee. It’s a muddy brown. You are not happy. You chose this field so you could try and make sense of your problems and your inadequacies. Your ticker is not working properly. You have a relatively new soul. You haven’t been around much, yet. So you listen to people’s problems and you are not in a position to make judgments. But you do. Someone who does your job should be around the reincarnation block more than twice you have. I don’t understand new souls. They judge too much. They expect things and do not understand the great universal laws. But you will. What goes around comes around, and every evil action you do will come back to haunt you 3 fold.

How many times have I been around this block? How many stars are there in the sky? I am sorry, for laughing. I lost count. I could have finished awhile ago, but for some reason, my soul is a bit sadistic. I have already achieved angel status, I want to keep learning more. So I keep coming back. Alternating lives. Male once, female the next. Sometimes I have been children, not progressing. Once I was an infant who died in labour. I wanted to know what that felt like. So I came back both as a mother who died in childbirth, and then immediately after, as an infant who died in childbirth.

But the last 500 years or so, I have to help other people. To save them from the darkness. It’s been easy, you radiate life, you give life. But now… I don’t know. I still do not know why I was burnt like that. I was a young witch, not a crone. I saw things. I don’t want to see things. Oh help me, I do not want to see things.

Do you know what it is like to be in the fifth grade and see in a math class your grandfather will die the next day? And the death before that will be a goldfish? And the next day you wake up and your goldfish, Lennon and McCartney are floating on top of the bowl. One of them anyway. Paul was ok, John was floating. And John got flushed down the toilet by my mother, with a rest in peace prayer.

So, since my fish died I knew my grandfather would also. I went to school knowing this. The sky was ominous that day, the air smelled of ozone like it does after a good rain. There was no rain. None.

I shivered. I can still remember how still the sky was , and no birds singing. The clouds looked like they had been torn apart by a jagged knife. It was macabre. And that was the first time I ever heard that word. Macabre.

I went to school that day, and saw the death as it was a movie happening to me. I went home that night, and my mother got the phone call, and it was like seeing the movie again.

The worst is seeing people’s aura change as you watch them. You can see them before they will die. You can see if they are cancerous or not. What I do not understand, is if you see that someone will die suddenly, do you tell them so they can try to cheat this? Say for example, Julius Caesar. He was warned to beware the Ides of March , by both the soothsayer, and his wife. He chose to ignore it. Free will. Can it then be considered free will to cheat death if the warning is heeded? Free will. It’s a marvelous thing.

But I digress. Back to auras? I have a friend who has the most marvelous one. Bluey green with silver sparkles. Gorgeous. Oh Gorgeous! He is my teacher, and a good friend. I thought he was my twin soul, but I think he is a soul mate. Maybe I am wrong. A psychic sees things for others, there whole life they look at like a horse in Central Park- with blinders. Do you know the difference? I cannot explain. Someone who is your best friend someone you are even closer to than your soul mate. I wish my aura was as brilliant as his. Mine is light pink. No sparkles.

No I will not lie down. How do you know I am wrong. Let me ask you something. Just because you cannot see something , that does not make it false. I hear my heart beating, but I do not see it. Does that mean it does not beat?

I see the beauty in the world. Does that mean that if I see it and others don’t, that the beauty is not there?

Why do you write everything I say in that book? You know you really shouldn’t smoke those cigars. Did you know Freud died from those? He had part of his tongue cut out.

Oh you knew that. You are really upsetting me. I see your aura withdrawing from me as you write, getting darker. What are you writing? Can I see it?

“According to the DSM IV, this patient displays several personality disorders. She experiences delusions that she believes to be visions of the future. Client also details further delusions of seeing auras around people based on her perception of these people’s attitudes and personality. These colors manifest in her mind to suppress childhood trauma. A pattern of schizophrenia or possibly bipolar disorder (to be determined by testing and by drug treatment) exists in that she attributes other personalities to be those from past lives. An obsession of good vs. evil exists as client attempts to gain control over or emancipate self from schizophrenia – especially during moments of transition to different personality. These transition states manifest as client perceives a “being” trying to “take her soul.” Client has chemical imbalance – possible lack of seratonin. May need to be placed on Prozac, Zoloft and Depakote. CONCERN EXISTS as “evil” personality may manifest and thus exhibit homicidal behavior.

Recommendation: Drug therapy to inhibit bipolar disorder (or schizophrenia). Strict care and observation. Client should remain under chemical treatment until potentially dangerous, delusional behavior subsides. Immediate treatment necessary.”
One slight paranoia. She believes she hears things talking to her, and that people want to kill her. She believes in past lives. She sees auras that are not there. Obsessed with concepts that are alien to me, like good vs evil.
Recommendation, severe hospitalization followed by ECT to calm down, and frontal lobotomy to bring her back to a level where she can be with her family and friends and once again be a vital member of society. Slipped through the cracks as a child, must be fixed now and retrained. Immediately”.

No. That is not right. You can’t do that to me. Oh you are. Please. You don’t understand my abilities. You don’t understand what you’re doing. Please!? Don’t. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want you to do that , I don’t want to be like everybody else. You will take away my soul, I will die. Please Please…Tell those men in the white coats to leave me alone…. Don’t come near me, Oh why can’t you help me? Please? Can anyone please help me? Does anyone hear me? This life was not supposed to happen this way. I’m not ready to die. Please. I am not ready. ….


Stephany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susan said...

Thank you Stephany.

As are you.

I love this time of year. Wish I could be a kid again, I would love to go trick or treating, and go out on Mischief Night.

Gianna said...

how exciting that this is being performed...

who is doing it?

Ana said...

Are you going to write the screenplay?
This is really good!

Dano MacNamarrah said...

Congratulations~ Now I'll have to come and see the production. I hope that your beautiful imagery and ideas carry well on stage.

Stephany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherry said...

Oh, I really like this, Susan! Being Irish, of course, none of that seems terribly strange to me. But then, I have a sackful of dxs of my own... {;>) Good job. I'd LOVE to see this on stage.

Pyrs said...


Its excellent. And I'm very impressed by the prospects of its becoming an off-broadway production. I look forward to hearing more about it. Congrats!

Thanks for sending me the link so I could read it again.


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