Sunday, October 21, 2007

taking care of yourself when you don't feel like it

One of the hardest things I have learned about dealing with bipolar on a day to day basis is dealing with keeping the illness at bay. This entails trying to keep my life at a routine, going to bed every night the same time and waking the same time. Taking my meds at the same time every day. Trying to think happy thoughts and keep my mind clear. I exercise, watch what I eat 90 percent of the time (Summer just ended and I have to eat ice cream). I love walking. 

But eventually a cold will get me, as it does everyone. Right now, I am battling the yearly strep throat,  feeling miserable. I cannot swallow.  Salt water gargle, vitamin C, Orange juice, cranberry juice and my world famous chicken soup. And lots of sleep.  I have spent the last 2 days sleeping as much as my cat. Not good sleep, no dreams to recall. 

And I cannot help but wonder. This is the first cold I have had in a year, and I am alone. I don't mind being alone, but my mind wonders back to my last relationship, when I got my yearly strep thoat. He went out and got me food, and spoiled me. He put fresh flannel sheets on the bed so I could feel extra warm, and cozy, and put my stuffed panda next to me. It was like when I was little, my father once took off from work when I had a cold, because my mom , who sold real estate couldn't stay home with me she had a closing. So my dad brought me something to drink and we put all my Barbies on the bed and he played with my dolls. 

Wonder. I liked having company but now, my life is more solitary, but it would be wonderful to have someone bring me a cup of tea with honey from my pantry in a little plastic teddy bear. I miss having someone to take care of me, but one of the things you learn in life is that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Then when you are well, you can help others.

Having a cold can play havoc with the illness, but it's something you learn to live with.  Just take care of yourself, sleep well, make sure you drink to stay hydrated- and my delicious chicken soup. 

1 comment:

Stephany said...
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