Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Does anyone have any Seroquel?

4 hours sleep today. That is a record for the last few days.  But the dreams have been the worst I have ever had except on Seroquel.

Bathtub with dead kittens floating in it. Fish, big yellow and white fish, on the sofa trying to breath, flapping their gills as they do when they are on land. It's almost surreal, like a Dali painting, instead of melting clocks, it's melting dying fish. 

Blood in the water. I walk into the bathroom and blood everywhere. Lady MacBeth redux. Who would have thought the 9 or so pints of blood in me would be so much? 

When I woke up I heard the cat sound again.  The sound of a cat being scrunched under tires. I know it's in my head, but it depresses me, and I feel like crying. 

I want to go back to sleep but cannot. I see the photographs on the end table, falling softly into eachother, the people in the photographs coming to life in each frame. My parents wedding picture. My father as a GI in WW2.  A baby picture of me, and a baby picture of my mom. 

Sometimes I don't think I have real people in my life, just photographs. Like people don't really exist, and I am living an episode of the old black and white Twilight Zone. 

1 comment:

Stephany said...
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