Monday, August 2, 2010

What is given, is also taken away


I am doing much better. With the new air conditioning, I am actually sleeping, right now only five hours a day but it's better than what I have been getting. The mania is receding on it's on like I knew it would, once I could sleep. Things are getting slowly better.

And of course the bad - the very bad, while I am getting stronger again, my dad is getting frail. In the last week he can no longer stand for more than a minute, his bones are very frail. He can barely walk- he can get off the bed to the bathroom and that is it. He can no longer sit for more than five or so minutes now.  The last three days he has been in bed, he cannot move out of it. He is in constant pain and the doctor has him on pain pills. His colon is also acting up again, and he needs the surgery but if he gets that he will die on the table.

So while I am getting stronger, my mother, sister and I are watching my father die.

The only good thing is I am strong enough to cope with it and grateful for any time i have with him. Writing here will be sporadic.  I am still writing, it's just longhand on paper.

I hope to be online soon and visiting blogs shortly.

ETA: I have been reading Alan Ginsburg's Kaddish tonight and thinking of the Circle of Life- hence, I added the Cheezeburger, it's one of my favorites.  It's really is all about the circle of life.

11 comments:

Andrew said...

Prayers for your father Susan.

And I am glad you are doing much better.

Stephi said...

Thank you for your post Susan, I have been away for 6 weeks and have just been reading through your blog. I'm so glad that you are getting stronger.

I'm so sorry about your dad, I know this is very painful, but- I think I've said this before- keep holding onto the good memories

You are a blessing:)

David Stein said...

I will keep your father in my prayers and I hope he feels better. It sounds like he has three really strong people supporting him and that makes a lot of difference.

And as Andrew stated I am glad to hear you are doing better :)

Dave.

NOS said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your father is sick. He and you are in my thoughts.

Wishing you well,
NOS

susan said...

Thank you all! I am blessed to have such readers.

Chris said...

Hi Susan,

I'm new to your blog but I wanted to let you know I am very sorry about your father. I lost my father in October, and it was similar in the way he became more and more fragile. It was very difficult, but definitely remember the positive stuff and try to enjoy this time you have left.

Take care,
Chris

Anonymous said...

Sending you many prayers and thoughts for your father. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Hang in there.

Littlewolf

midnight rainbow said...

Glad you are feeling better. I know how manias can be and how lack of sleep is a rapid cycle in itself. So sorry to hear about your dad, but I'm glad you are in a better place to able to handle. Prayers and hugs.

sallyo said...

I'm sorry to hear about your father, Susan. And happy to hear you're doing better.
Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your dad.

Syd said...

I am sorry about your father. It is hard to see a parent fade. Blessings to you and your dad.

Kass said...

Thinking of you and prayers for your father...

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