I want to thank Larry Drain, of the Hopeworks Community Blog for including a piece I wrote especially for him this weekend on recovery. Larry asked several recovery based writers on Facebook to write guest blog pieces for his blog which he has been putting up over the last few days, and I am honored to present mine to my readers. If you don't know this blog, it's a lovely mental health recovery based blog. Enjoy.
I like to tell friends I am in double recovery. Recovery from alcoholism, and from bipolar. I found the alcohol was easy. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, spent four days in a hell hole getting that horrible stuff out of my system, joined AA, worked the steps and as I write this , have 13 and a half years under my belt. I am so afraid to pick up again, because I know where my last drink took me, I don’t drink. Ever. Period. That was easy. But the bipolar stuff? That is hard. I still struggle daily, and I still don’t know how to do it.
Others make it look so easy, in my support group and other bloggers. I am jealous of them. I’ve spent more than half my life going to psychiatrists, therapists, taking over fifty different med cocktails and ECT all in an attempt to get depression, suicidal ideation, mania and rapid cycling under control. You name it, blue pills, red pills, round pills, square pills. I’ve been through DBT therapy, CBT therapy, Jungian, Freudian, Reiki, Art therapy, Music therapy, Past life therapy, Hypnotherapy/Hypnosis, Trauma therapy, and two I made up, Pet therapy, and Chocolate therapy. All to make the depression go away. All to feel less suicidal and fit in with people.
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13 comments:
I just love what you wrote on his blog. It sounded a lot like something I would write, except for the AA part. I feel like I don't fit in, but maybe it's because people don't fit in with us. Thanks for thinking of me, I'm kind of scared myself. Dr. Purple Socks is getting a call tomorrow.
Thank you! It is a nice blog, and I would have never known about it if it wasn't for Facebook.
Very nice, very moving. Say what they will about the problems with social networking, but this is a great example of the good it can do in connecting people together.
Susan
You did great. Very good stuff
Excellent.
>"blue pills, red pills [...]"
You do know that those should *only* be purchased through Zion-endorsed dealers, don't you??
RPJ- I was thinking of Grace Slick singing about one pill does this and one pill does that and to ask Alice.... when I wrote the part about one red pill and one blue pill.... not about the Matrix actually....
Good for you. It helps to get the thoughts written down. For me, they are not then empowered so much.
Hi..I love the title of your blog! Are you familiar with the Christian worship song that says, "If you're going through hell don't stop. If your catching hell don't hold it"? Powerful song! And so true! Just like the title of your blog! Brad Hoefs,
Brad, not familiar with that song, got the idea from Churchill. I am such an Anglophile. I am glad you like it. It actually came from a friend of mine, I was going to go with a line from Shakespeare.
You have a lovely blog too.
Hey! Thrilled to find your blog.
Having a week off to switch meds (oh, the glamour!) and looking for good things to read. I found one!
Best
Great article Susan.
Jenster, Glad you found this blog! Don't you love the med changes! Have a few books to read too, when you can't get near a computer,drink lots of fluids, and some real good tunes to listen to, or some good TV to watch.
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