Sunday, April 27, 2014


I'm here.
My life has gone to hell in a hand basket since Holly went to the Rainbow bridge on New Years Eve.

The only way I can explain how I feel, is to think of a page from Robert Graves' masterpiece "I Claudius,  " when he talks about the dark depression he went through when his brother died and said "I won't talk about it"

The last two years have been trying, loosing the cat made me question everything. I don't want to discuss it here, it's too painful, to raw. It's an open wound. She is in a cherry wood box on my dresser.    I weep daily at the sight of it.

I don't know if I will continue to blog, or I will just keep trying to keep on living through this dark morass that is my soul now.

Take care.


Anonymous said...

Susan, I'm so sorry to hear about Holly. I know how much she meant to you. I'm glad to see you're still around, even if you decide blogging isn't something you need to do anymore.

Austine92 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sallyo said...

I've been worrying about you. Please take care of yourself during this tough time!

midnight rainbow said...

So Sorry to hear about the loss of Holly. I know how tough it can be. My condolences.

Anonymous said...

Love you. Holly is now your angel watching over you.

Unknown said...

You need to be more positive about life and yourself more than ever now- if you can't practice positive thinking when you are down--- i wonder. I feel with you. you got a huge project

Annapurna Moffatt said...

I'm so sorry about Holly.

I was thinking about you a few days ago, and the fact that I hadn't seen anything from you in a long time. I may not know you in real life, but I was concerned: what is Susan up to these days? Is she okay (the more important of the two questions)? Glad to hear you're still here. If you choose to discontinue the blog, I'll miss it, but you do what you feel is best.

Syd said...

I'm sorry about the loss of your beloved Holly. I felt as if I were barely putting one step in front of the other in 2013 with so many loved ones dying. Hope that you will see your way to better and happier times soon.

dg said...

So sorry about your beloved kitty. I love your blog and all you share. Kindred spirit here. Hugs.

Hmmmyeah said...

Got here by googling how to make it through. I lost my cat a few months ago and it sent me to a scary place. Just as I'm getting out of the scary place, my dog is deathly sick. I am just trying to get through each moment. I wanted you to know that I understand, you aren't alone, and it's hard. I'm going to keep trying until I absolutely can't and then I'm going to be ok with not trying and just collapsing for a while.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of Holly and your struggles. I'm sure she is still with you in spirit although it doesn't make her passing any easier. Please take care of yourself, you are a beautiful soul and deserve better times ahead.

Anonymous said...

Tonight is the first time I've ever googled living with depression. I came across your blog when I saw the birthday pic of your cat. My heart goes out to you for your loss. I lost my fluffy baby a couple of years ago and it does get easier. It's about 1.30am where I am and I've got my next fluff ball beside me. We are sending you loving thoughts. I hope you feel up to blogging again. Although I haven't yet read any of your posts, I'm sure they will help. Just remember to breathe and if you need a cute break to get through the day, head over to, or These are what gets me through the day.

Anonymous said...

My beloved dog died last weekend. I'm heartbroken and distraught ... Hope things are much better for you now.

Astral Samurai said...

Dear Susan,

I am sorry you lost your friend.
I know how it feels and I still think of my furry friends that have gone beyond the veil.
I like to think there is a little kitty heaven where they are all playing at a poker table! ;)

Remember there are many strays out there that need homes!

Don't give up!


LeeSoyer said...

I'm sorry for your lost.

But the reality is that we need to let go that overwhelming feeling of loss and remember the good memories you did have when it was alive.

It's difficult and I get it, but you must believe it's possible.

Jan said...


I’m writing to you because I have a lot of experience with depression.
I’m not sure if I’m over yet and is there such thing as end of depression, but I found a way to manage it.
It cost me a lot and let’s just say the I’m broke and out of options, so I started writing a book about it.
The funniest thing is, English is my second language and I wouldn’t even think about writing it in my native.
But who cares. Maybe you do.
I know how cheap this sounds, but this is a link to my campaign, that I hope will help me end this chapter and focus on the most important, which is to be an awesome dad.
If you don’t want to back this “project”, simply share.


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