Monday, December 24, 2012

Trying not to be a Grinchette

I'm here. If I said the last few months, if not this last year has been horrible, I don't know if too many people would believe me. 
It has been impossible to write. I stay in bed most of the day because that is all I can do. I've wanted to write and I try, but I didn't. My brain seemed broken, and even worse, when I was able to write a few words, for my blog, they seemed hollow, empty and meaningless. I didn't want to upset anyone. 
This blog, which has always been my baby, the thing that got me out of bed and gave me a reason to live, was withering, I just couldn't function. I'm sorry. 
I have a new psychiatrist. I saw him earlier this month, and he did an evaluation. My axis V is a number between 10-15. I'm barely functioning right now. 
Thank you for the emails and comments. I can't tell you how much they mean to me, all the times where I was falling and drowning, they saved me. 
I'm still here and the blog is still active, even if I am not. Best wishes for a very happy holiday, and let's hope the new year is better. 
A video with love from me, and from Holly. Kittens make everything better. 


Ruth said...

Love the kittens and nice to here from you. Hope you find peace for the holiday.

Anonymous said...

Really glad to hear from you. Sending many caring hugs.


Anonymous said...

Honest and moving testimony to what mental illness feels like. Cathy

Lorelei said...

Sending good thoughts to you and wishes for a good new year.

Shannon said...

I do love reading all words about all stages and feelings of everyones illness. Don't be afraid to write it. For me sometimes, it helps. Even the tiniest. ♥

Anonymous said...

I found your blog while doing research for my own suicide. The first post I read was from 2009, I'm so happy to see your post today. Even in the darkness, it gives me hope.

Ruby Tuesday said...

Stay strong

Sending you a hug x

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