There but for the grace of you go I

It's been hotter than Hades here on the East Coast. Indeed, news reports are saying it's the warmest weather in over 100. Records are being smashed.

All I know, baby it's hot outside. So I stay inside, with a semi working air conditioner that is doing the best job to keep me cool. I can't complain. I have electricity. Parts of the East Coast are still without electricity, and other parts are suffering brown outs because the electric companies cannot keep up with demand.

It's all good.

I daydream a lot that I am in Antarctica. Or the North Pole. Someplace nice and cold. With penguins. And ice.  Can you imagine anything better for a daydream? (Hey folks, this is a G rated blog).

So I found myself at the local supermarket- a ginormous supermarket, getting a few things to eat and various important things like the dreaded toilet paper. Cottage cheese and fruit. It's too hot to eat anything heavy. Some cream for my coffee. Some brown sugar for my tea. A five pound bag of ice to stick in the bathtub and just try to cool off with.

Then I saw her when I was at the salad bar, making dinner for the night.  A woman in her sixties, Immaculately dressed, like she just came out of church, including the requisite church ladies hat in a lovely shade of fuchsia. Thinner than Kate Moss. And with a very strange look in her eye, she yelled at me "Who you staring at bitch"?

I didn't look at her, said a silent prayer that she would just move on. Again, she comes up to me, says a few words which I cannot repeat and spits at me.

I've never seen anyone spit on another human being, other than the now famous VH1 New York/Pumpkin spit episode. I thought it was something done in movies and soap operas, like slapping someone's face, or spilling a drink on someone at a bar.

I don't know what to say, I don't want to look up. The manager comes by. Again, she yells and curses out the manager. A stock clerk who knows this lady, comes over to her, and walks her away, her cursing out a group of people very loudly.

The manager hands me a tissue. Do you want to press charges? The police are on their way. Several other store patrons are pressing charges. I shake my head, no, and hand him my salad. I don't want it now. I don't want any of my groceries. I just want to go home and take a shower. I feel dirty.

"What will happen to her", I finally ask. He replies the cops will take her to the local ER. The ER will evaluate her- make sure she's not drunk or high. He thinks she is on something but doesn't know. "She's a regular", he states. "I've never seen her like this".


On the way out the the door, I see from the corner of my eye, a police car with the woman sitting in the back. I  can hear her cursing as I walk by, despite the windows being up.

Drunk or high. I hope for her case that is all it is. I'm afraid it might be worse- something wrong with her soul. Her eyes scared me when I took my brief glimpse in them. It was like her soul was missing. I've only seen that once before in my life.

I haven't slept since this encounter. It's not due to the heat- it's due to what I am afraid is happening to this woman. I'm hoping she was drunk or high, and released after 12 hours. I'm afraid she was taken to the ER, and is now in a mental hospital. I picture her sitting in a chair, doped up the gills on a drug cocktail like Thorazine,so she's restrained and not spitting. Staring catatonic at a TV screen. Lost in a universe of her own making, imprisoned in her mind.

I know what it's like to be cranky and miserable in this heat. It brings out the worst in me. Add to the mix, hot flashes, and I am beyond cranky. But not at a point where I will spit. Never there. How do I know this woman wasn't just over tired with the heat, hungry and feeling miserable. This might have lead her to a break where one brief moment she made some bad judgements and felt at the end of the rope? Couldn't they just give her a nice cold drink and calm her down.

I need to get dinner for tonight but it's too hot to eat. I'll have an iced tea and a pb and j sandwich. Perhaps tomorrow I will go to the store to get some fruit and since it's a small town, learn about what happened to this poor woman.

On the other hand, maybe I should go a few more miles down the road to the next closest grocery store. I'm afraid I don't want to know what really transpired.

See, how do I know that won't be me some day?

ETA: Big Thanks to Anthony at My Sick Mind for giving me the actual correct quote for the title. Anthony you rock!

Miki, the amazing doggie activist.

It’s a doggy weekend here in my neck of the woods. Saturday I spent the entire afternoon with some friends and their fabulous, cute as a button therapy dog, Miki, the Pomeranian.  How cute is he? So cute that I want to adopt a dog! 

Miki was on TV yesterday. National TV. You see, Miki got the ACE award from the AKC (American Kennel Club) in the field of therapy dog. Both Susan and I are friends with Trish Baker, who is “mom” to Miki.

Trish started A.I.R., “Attitudes In Reverse”, an organization that brings awareness of suicide prevention to students. Miki attends A.I.R. awareness events and starts many conversations regarding mental health and suicide prevention.

“He goes everywhere with me,” Baker said. The little dog has helped her through many rough times, including the death of her son. When they wear their green and white AIR t-shirts out and about, people stop to ask about the organization. Baker explains that the white part of the shirt represents hope and the green represents children’s mental illness. Baker said that since children were their main target, they “saw a benefit in having a dog there.”

The award that Miki will be receiving on Saturday afternoon on ABC at 2pm is for ACE, Award of Canine Excellence. He was entered into the Therapy category, which was the largest one with about 200 entries, according to Baker.

After narrowing down all the entries, the judges decided that Miki’s was such a powerful story, it needed to be told.”

Here’s a video of Miki and the other four dogs that got medals in this category.

I defy anyone not to get weepy at viewing Bingo, a service dog that helps his boy with cerebral palsy.

For those who want to get in touch with Miki, you can find him on Facebook under “Miki The Parti-Pomeranian” and “Like” his page. I hope you will. He can also be found under the A.I.R. website.

(Part of this article was on the TWIM blog, February 5, 2012. Picture of Miki was taken by me). 

Update on Alison- She's Out!

From Gianna Kali's blog this morning...

This is an upate to let you all know that Alison Hymes was NOT sent to a long-term facility this morning. Our efforts were successful. I think this proves that when we all band together, we can fight the oppressive forces of psychiatry. Alison had very little family support, but she had the love and support of people whose lives she touched in Virginia, all across the States, and the world. This explanation was written by her friend, Tina.

OKAY! I just spoke to Alison’s doctor and he said she seemed great and that he wouldn’t even be concerned about her driving skills, but then tried to chalk it up to the high dose of seroquel. she just got better in the last 3 days because of us. i reminded him that those statements about her functioning aren’t compatible with commitment criteria. he agreed. I think he [is] going to discharge her.

And discharge her, he did. Tina is making the long trek down to Charlottesville to care for Alison around the clock as she recovers from iatrogenic trauma and medical torture. This threat of long-term institutionalization was a matter of life and death – NOT an exaggeration – she had organ system failure that was not being addressed by her psychiatric “care” and would not be addressed at the facility she would have been sent to. Those of us who have followed her story feared that she wouldn’t have survived.

Thank you to all who signed the petition. Alison credits her quick turnaround to the love and support she received. We pulled together, and we saved a life today! We expect Alison to recover and thrive, and are certain that she will continue to be a strong advocate in our community.

Hat tip: Stephany

Action Needed Urgently. Please Help A Fellow Blogger

This post is written by a friend of Alison Hymes, Tina. Please sign the petition here.

We need to get behind our sister psychiatric survivor, Alison Hymes of Charlottesville, VA. I just got off the the phone with Alison, and she authorized me to share her information to get support and assistance.

Alison is currently at Martha Jefferson Hospital. She had the independent psychiatric evaluation today, and they are definitely sending her to Western State Hospital. They didn’t have the commitment hearing yet…that’s Monday. But she says it’s just a formality. This is WSH, where they wish to send her for 6 months

Alison had a kidney transplant in October 2008 for loss of kidney function due to psychiatric malpractice many years ago. She was sucked back into the psych system at UVA by commitment  in 2009 when she had a reaction to the steroids prescribed for the kidney transplant. It was also due to neglect by her psychiatrist that the issues were not addressed. Instead of addressing it as a steroid reaction, they decided it was a “bipolar episode” and gave her drugs that nearly caused the loss of her transplanted kidney and bladder. She was totally re-traumatized.

She has been highly anxious ever since, and her outpatient doctor raised the klonopin to a high dose since that time, but she also lost her therapist of 9 years over the summer and had little or no family/friend support. Before she took this recent downturn, she was highly anxious, but still driving, shopping, cooking and taking care of herself, including daily walks. When her psychiatrist saw her mid-January, Alison reported anxiety and sleeplessness and was prescribed a low dose of Seroquel, and within 2 days, the round of ER visits, crisis center stays and threats of commitment began. She was suddenly unable to drive, cook, bathe properly or take care of herself, and it was directly caused by the addition of Seroquel. The response was to raise the dose, hospitalize her and keep raising the dose. They currently have her loaded up on Seroquel and made her cold turkey off klonopin last night.  This would be a six month commitment.

With her medical needs and her traumatic psych history, I fear Alison will not survive at Western State, especially not for six months. I have contacted her attorney, as well as a CCHR Representative, and I will request a Mindfreedom Shield Activation at her request, but we need all the support, assistance and suggestions of the survivor community right now.

Please sign the petition here.