(New Years Revelers in Times Square, NYC, 2008)
As I said in an earlier post, I hate New Year's Eve. With all my heart and all my soul. I find myself curiously depressed, I know what to do, but still it's a day for mostly being in bed, listening to music or talk radio, snuggling with the cat. Dinner will be a hoagie and a rented movie from Redbox. It isn't going to the worst New Years, but it won't be the best .It I think of J- I will get mad. If I think of D- my heart will break.
This really has been my Anno Horribilis- the worst year of my life. It started with 2 stays in a Psychiatric Hospital- one to get a meds adjustment ,and the second longer one ,from suicidal ideation from Remeron. Then 10 days in hospital with Pneumonia in March. Then April and May, and June dealing with a near death reaction to Haldol- which made me spend 5 days in hospital and 3 weeks in a Rehab Hospital. learning how to walk and move my arms again.
I mean to write about it, but I will in a better place.
All I can do now is write to one friend and crawl back into bed, with the striped one and watch the snow. Oh yes, Expected 6-12 inches of the white stuff today.
I wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year.
I wish foe Peace on Earth- it seems that several areas of the world right now are in such turmoil, I cannot watch the evening news.
I wish there will be a cure for Cancer, Aids, and a broken heart.
I wish people took better care of their children and pets.
I wish children did not go to bed hungry, or afraid.
I wish next year I had someone to sit on the sofa with me on New Years Eve and give me a proper New Years Kiss.
I've never understood the hubub over New Year's. Even when I had someone to give me a proper New Year's kiss, it wasn't all that special a day.
ReplyDeleteI can't get worked up over any holiday (allegedly) that makes so many people (myself included) feel sad, lonely or otherwise outcast from society.
Not that being outside society is always a bad thing - because I've seen society and it isn't always something I want to be a part of - but the overwhelming joy felt by so many over so little is something over which I am in continual amazement.
As for me, I have "Burn After Reading" to watch, a healthy cat, food for dinner and a full bottle of Southern Comfort.
And it won't be snowing here until Friday.
HNY.
Hugs sweetie _ I wish you had someone to give you nimproper kiss! And me there to make you laugh.
ReplyDeletexxMary
I just came to say I love you.
ReplyDeleteTake good care. Things will get better.
Yours,
Ana
i stumbled upon your blog when i was searching for an 80's song "the worst year of my life" by the wild swans. i just started my own blog a couple of weeks ago, chronicling my recent diagnosis with bipolar type II disorder. i'm really glad i found your blog and i feel the same way -- i'm spending new year's with some netflix and a subway sandwich because i can't stand to be around anyone, especially seeing out the end of the worst year of my life. you have a new fan and i wish you all the best in 2009. i'm also really jealous you have a kitty, getting a pet is prohibitively expensive in my apartment complex for someone who just quit their job to get back to sanity...
ReplyDeletep.s. is it weird that i have the same layout on my blog?
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. New Year's Eve seems designed to make a lot of folks feel unhappy. Personally I am stuck in my home for the next several days at least except for walking my dogs and getting food (wearing a mask to scare folks away) because my white blood cell count went too far down from my anti-rejection drugs. I sort of enjoy in an odd way having doctor's orders to stay away from human beings for a short while :).
ReplyDeleteI hope that 2009 is as lucky for you as 2008 was for me, I found my second life health wise in October of this year and I hope for you and for me that we will both find new lives in other ways in 2009. Consider yourself hugged.
I've had a horrible evening contemplating my horrible year...I put up a prayer on my blog for the new year...
ReplyDeletemay you make those things come true in 2009 as I hope too as well.
Happy New Year, the best is yet to come! Gotta believe that.
ReplyDeletei feel the same way about new years.
ReplyDeleteand i wish for the same things you do.
i hope you have a better 2009 and find more peace. i hope we all do.
We seem to have a theme in our New Year's posts!
ReplyDeleteI know 2008 was rough for you, Susan. For myself, I bottomed out in 2007 and while 2008 was bad economically for me as it was for everyone, it was a VERY good year for me otherwise:
http://community.beliefnet.com/journals/sblog_id/post_id/833/27790