What is given, is also taken away

I am doing much better. With the new air conditioning, I am actually sleeping, right now only five hours a day but it's better than what I have been getting. The mania is receding on it's on like I knew it would, once I could sleep. Things are getting slowly better.

And of course the bad - the very bad, while I am getting stronger again, my dad is getting frail. In the last week he can no longer stand for more than a minute, his bones are very frail. He can barely walk- he can get off the bed to the bathroom and that is it. He can no longer sit for more than five or so minutes now.  The last three days he has been in bed, he cannot move out of it. He is in constant pain and the doctor has him on pain pills. His colon is also acting up again, and he needs the surgery but if he gets that he will die on the table.

So while I am getting stronger, my mother, sister and I are watching my father die.

The only good thing is I am strong enough to cope with it and grateful for any time i have with him. Writing here will be sporadic.  I am still writing, it's just longhand on paper.

I hope to be online soon and visiting blogs shortly.

ETA: I have been reading Alan Ginsburg's Kaddish tonight and thinking of the Circle of Life- hence, I added the Cheezeburger, it's one of my favorites.  It's really is all about the circle of life.